How to Build a Care Team for Your Aging Parent
It may or may not require a unitard.
Caring for an elderly parent can often feel like you’re navigating a maze blindfolded, in the dark…and you gotta pee. But fear not, Dear Reader, for you're not alone in this journey.
It would be easy to think that building a caregiving team for your elderly parent is like assembling your version of The Avengers. But no, that would be too cliche and involve a unitard. We don’t have time for unitards right now. It’s more like assembling a decent salad. You know, you’ve got the lettuce laying the foundation…the carrots add some crunch…some, uh tomatoes, and then well…the rest is mostly dressing if we’re honest.
In this guide, we'll explore the essential members of your caregiving salad team, delve into the senior caregiving services available, and uncover valuable caregiver resources to support you in this noble endeavor.
Table Of Contents
Why You Need a Care Team
What You Need to Do
Core Team Members
Senior Care Giving Services
How to Work with Your Care Team
Why You Need a Care Team
Before we jump into the specifics of who should be on your team, let's take a moment to understand why you actually need one. If you’re reading this there are at least some areas of your parent’s life that you’ve determined need some help. The reality is that, even if your parents seem pretty chill now, things are going to get more complicated over time. It’s like when you try to fix something in your house. You may think it’s an easy fix at the beginning but after three days of DIY YouTube and trips to Home Depot you’ve fixed the leak but now you’ve got a hole in the wall and have lost all your hot water. Like most DIY projects its going to get to a point where you can’t deal with it all on your own. You may even be at this point now.
What You Need to Do
You team can be as big or as small as you want it to be but fundamentally, these are the areas you need to address:
Managing Overall Health: Getting older means spending a lot more time keeping things together from a health perspective. Our bodies just don’t work like they used to. Your aging parents will need help navigating their specific issues as well as the pile of bananas that is the US health system.
Managing Medications You want to make sure that your parents are taking their medications appropriately because its likely that many of these drugs are keeping them alive, pain free, or both. Thing is, when they’ve got twenty different pills and maybe some memory issues, this can be difficult. Lucky for you we’ve got a guide for this.
Feeding, Bathing & Bathroom When just getting out of of the chair feels like a high-wire act little things like going to the bathroom or making a bowl of cereal become epic feats. So if your parent has issues in this area you’ll need to make sure there are people around to help out.
General Safety & Supervision Sometimes you’re just going to need someone to check in on your parents and spend time with them. They may be generally independent but need help finding their keys or remembering to turn off the stove. There may also be things around the house that need to be installed, fixed, or modified to make the home safer.
Legal Stuff Do you like to think about the end of your life? Probably not and neither do your parents. Most people find that their parents have done little to plan for this stage in their life and a lot of this lack of planning can have legal consequences.
The Core Team Members
So now that we know what your team will do. Let’s talk about who will be helping out. It might be easiest to break this into two groups: Internal & External.
Internal Group (“The Innies”)
Your internal team is made up of you and people you know personally: Family, friends, family friends, and neighbors. An important role within this team is the primary caregiver:
Primary Caregiver If you’re reading this , congratulations—chances are this is you. The primary caregiver is often a family member who takes on the lion's share of responsibility. It’s kind of like being the captain of a sinking ship, but in a loving, non-dramatic way. This role requires someone who is organized, compassionate, and possesses the tenacity of a marathon runner. It is also essential that this person can delegate because if you’re doing it all by yourself then you’re doing it wrong.
External Team (“The Outies”)
Anyone who isn’t part of the internal group. These are generally professionals you pay or groups that provide some kind of senior community service. Any healthcare provider is part of the external group. Let’s highlight some of the key healthcare players:
PCP Your parent’s primary care physician (PCP) is likely the person you’ll be interacting with the most because they typically have seen your parents the most in the clinic. The PCP will also be able to connect you to specialists.
Specialist Doctors If you parent has any chronic disease like heart failure, lung issues, diabetes, or any number of other conditions that require a specialist, you will be interacting with these folks as well.
Pharmacists People often forget that pharmacists know more about medications than a lot of doctors and they’re usually much easier to get a hold of. Make friends with your local pharmacist and don’t hesitate to ask questions when you go to pick up a refill. A lot of pharmacies also allow you to call to speak directly with a pharmacist. They have big brains, big hearts, and are an invaluable resource.
Nurses Nurses, especially ones with experience in geriatrics, can offer skilled medical care at home. They are adept at managing medications, monitoring vital signs, and handling complex medical equipment. They also tend to be great at breaking down complex healthcare topics so you can understand them. Having a nurse on your team can bring peace of mind and just the right amount of sass to take the edge off.
Home Health Aides We have a special place in our hearts for home health aides. They are trained to provide essential help with things like helping your parents bathe, go to the bathroom, and dressing. Sometime they’ll even assist with light housekeeping duties. If you find a good one, treat them like gold.
Social Workers Think of the social worker as your friend who knows where all the good restaurants are and how to get a reservation. They’re expert at helping connect you to community resources and sometimes even government assistance for in-home care. They can also help facilitate some basic legal healthcare paperwork.
Therapists: There are a lot of different kinds of specialized therapies that your parents may need or want to be involved with. Mental Health Therapists can assist with all of the emotional and psychological aspect of aging. Physical Therapists can guide them through exercises that can improve their balance and mobility. Occupational Therapists are experts in finding clever ways to accomplish tasks that used to be easy like getting in and out of the shower. Finally, Speech Therapists can help with essential rehab for issues related to memory, language, and swallowing.
It’s important to note that most if not all of these roles are part of your parent’s health insurance so make sure you use them!
Exploring Senior Caregiving Services
Senior caregiving services are another part of the external team group. They can offer a lifeline for families, providing professional support tailored to the needs of elderly individuals. Let's explore some of the options:
Geriatric Care Manager Consider a geriatric care manager as the project manager of your caregiving team. If this whole experience was a movie the primary caregiver (you) would be the director and the Geriatric Care Manager would be an executive producer. They assess your parent's needs, coordinate care services, and connect you with community resources. Their expertise can be invaluable in navigating the often confusing world of senior care
In-Home Care Services In-home care services range from companionship to medical care, depending on your parent's needs. These services allow your parent to remain in the comfort of their own home while receiving the necessary assistance. Often your parent’s PCP will set up something called Home Health that provides high quality care at home for short periods of time.
Adult Day Care Centers Adult day care centers provide a safe environment for seniors during the day. These centers offer social activities, meals, and sometimes even therapy services. They can be a game changer for family caregivers needing a break.
Respite Care Respite care offers temporary relief for family caregivers, allowing them to recharge while ensuring their loved ones receive quality care. Whether it's a few hours or a few days, respite care can prevent caregiver burnout.
Tapping Into Caregiver Resources
Has your head exploded from all of this yet? Navigating the maze of caregiving can be mind boggling but there are plenty of resources available to guide you.
Online Support Groups Online support groups provide a platform for caregivers to share experiences, advice, and even a few laughs. These groups can be a source of emotional support and practical tips.
Educational Workshops and Webinars Many organizations offer workshops and webinars on topics ranging from managing caregiver stress to understanding dementia. These educational resources can empower you with the knowledge and skills needed to care for your parent effectively.
Financial and Legal Resources Navigating the financial and legal aspects of caregiving can be overwhelming. Resources like the National Council on Aging offer guidance on benefits and programs available to seniors and their families.
Working with your Care Team
Creating a cohesive caregiving team involves more than just assembling the right people—it's about fostering communication and collaboration.
Regular Meetings
Regular team meetings, whether in person or online, ensure that everyone is on the same page. These meetings provide an opportunity to discuss your parent's needs, update each other on any changes, and plan for future care.
Clear Communication
Open and honest communication is the glue that holds a caregiving team together. Establish clear lines of communication and encourage team members to voice concerns or suggestions. It can be helpful to use online collaboration tools like Google Docs to give everyone shared access to things like med lists, calendars, and other helpful documents.
Flexibility and Adaptability
The world of caregiving is ever-changing, and your team needs to be flexible and adaptable. Be open to adjusting roles and responsibilities as your parent's needs evolve.
Wrap Up
Okay, so maybe it’s a little more complicated than putting a salad together. You’re not just grabbing a bunch of people and calling it a team—you’re building a high performing squad of support and care. Maybe the Avengers reference was the right move after all because everyone involved is kind of a superhero.
Get your parentds the care and dignity they deserve and give yourself the piece of mind that it’s not all on you. Take a deep breath, trust your team (they’ll surprise you) and dive in. We’ll leave it up to you to figure out the unitard situation.